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Hello, my beauties, and welcome to the Self-Love Journaling with God podcast. I am your host, Shonda, and I am so grateful you are here on this episode today. This podcast is all about journaling, and it's about doing the heart work with God as we heal, grow, and learn to love ourselves the way God does, one page and one prayer at a time. Today we are gently looking at the way our words can either strengthen our confidence or slowly talk us out of it. We are talking about five signs you are self-sabotaging with your words. Because sometimes we are praying for boldness, healing, growth, and courage, but the language we use about ourselves is still agreeing with fear. So we're gonna get into that a little bit today. We may not even realize it at first. It can sound like I'm probably going to mess this up, I should not even try, I do not have what it takes. And so, my sister, this is not about blaming yourself for having a hard day or heavy thought or even an honest feeling. We all have moments when our confidence feels a little wobbly, sometimes very wobbly. But today we are learning how to pause and pay attention to the words that have been leading our hearts. And this has a lot to do with our confidence because the things we speak repeatedly can become the things we start expecting. I hope that you have been enjoying our series where we have been talking about our words and how our words impact our worth and how we see ourselves. And so this is episode five of that series. And so, with God's help, we can begin choosing words that make room for courage, for our hope, and growth. So I want you to settle in, take a slow breath, and let's invite God into this part of our healing. Before we walk through those five signs, I want us to pause and understand why this conversation really matters. Because this is not just about being positive or forcing ourselves to say the right thing. This is deeper than that. The words we repeat can become the language our heart starts living by. Did you hear that? Our heart starts living by our words. And when you are trying to heal, you're trying to grow, you're trying to rebuild confidence, or see yourself through God's eyes, the way you speak to yourself matters. So let's slow down and talk about why this matters in such a way. So our words can either support our healing or keep agreeing with that fear or that anxiety. The way you talk to yourself impacts your self-love walk because it shapes whether you see yourself through grace or through constant criticism. It's all about your self-image and how you see yourself. It impacts your faith too, because your words can either help you agree with God's truth or keep you rehearsing those old labels. And it impacts your emotional health because repeated negative self-talk can increase shame, anxiety, avoidance, and that heavy feeling of I'll never get past this. Now we have all been there before. When you keep speaking that defeat though, your confidence has to work extra hard to grow. It is like planting flowers and then stepping on the soil every morning. You may still want the flowers to bloom, but the ground keeps getting pressed down. And many of us do this without even realizing it. We ask God for confidence, but then we speak like courage is not available to us. We might ask God for healing, but then we describe ourselves by our wounds. And so my sister, I say that with love because I have had those meetings in my own mind too. Fear had the agenda, shame brought the snacks, and overthinking stayed way past closing time. So I totally understand this. But God invites us into a different way. And that's what we're talking about here. Finding a different way, a renewed way, a truth-filled way. And so the heart of today's teaching is this the words you speak over yourself should begin agreeing with who God is helping you become, not only who you have been. Sometimes our language stays loyal to that old fear, that old shame, old wounds, and old labels long after God has already started healing those places. Think about the woman with the issue of blood in Mark, the fifth chapter. For twelve long years she had lived with pain, disappointment, and being treated as unclean. But when she heard about Jesus, something in her language changed. She said within herself, If I may touch but his clothes I shall be whole. She said within herself. She did not deny her struggle, but she also did not let her struggle have the final word. Emotionally, the words we repeat can train our minds to expect defeat. So when we keep saying I can't handle this, our thoughts and bodies may begin reacting as if that sentence is the truth we must obey. But with God's help, and this is what we're talking about today, a practice pattern can become a renewed pattern. And really, this is all about self-awareness, becoming more aware of what we are saying about ourselves. So here in Joel 3, verse 10, it says, Let the weak say I am strong, reminding us that we can speak through or we can speak strength even while we still feel tender or unsure or even afraid. And then in 2 Corinthians 10 3 5, which we have been taking this scripture all through our series on words, this teaches us that every thought does not get to lead. So as we walk through these five signs today, we are not doing it to feel condemned. We are learning here. We are learning to notice what has been speaking louder than truth, louder than God's word, and begin choosing words that help us heal. So let's dive into sign number one. The first sign is that you focus on your limits more than God's help. This is when your words keep circling around your limitations instead of leaving room for God's strength. It may sound like I'm not ready or I don't have what it takes, or someone else could do it better than me. Sometimes those words are coming from fear, from disappointment, or a place in your heart that remembers trying before and feeling hurt. But let's go back to Joel 3, the 10th verse, which reminds us, let the weak say I am strong, which means your weakness can be honest without becoming the final word over your life. So this week, when you catch yourself saying what you cannot do, gently pause and add one faith field next step. Something like this feels hard, but God can help me begin. For example, if your first thought is, I can never speak up in that conversation, try saying God can help me share one honest sentence with wisdom and courage. Now the second sign, which is you name yourself by the battle instead of the becoming. So what this is is this is when you start introducing yourself to yourself by what you are fighting instead of how you are growing. Now, this is deep here, and this may sound like I'm just a mess or I am always insecure, or I'm the type of person who can't handle hard things. Now, there's nothing wrong with being honest about what you are facing because healing often begins with telling the truth, right? But there is a difference between saying I am walking through a hard season and saying this hard season is who I am. God sees the whole story, not just the struggle. And so self-love through his eyes means refusing to reduce yourself to one wound, one weakness, or one pattern. This week, here's what I want you to consider doing. When you notice yourself turning a struggle into an identity, practice saying this is something I am working through, but it is not the whole truth about me. And here, this is where we're practicing Job 3:10. Let the weak say I am strong. And this is exactly what you would be doing. So, for example, instead of saying, I'm just anxious, try saying, I'm noticing anxiety today, but I am also learning how to breathe, pray, journal, and respond with wisdom. All right, let's go to sign number three. The third sign is when words like always and never start making your pain sound permanent. Sign number three is you turn one hard moment into your whole future. Now you may say, I always mess up, I never follow through, and we've all said these type of things to ourselves. Nothing ever changes, especially when you feel discouraged or emotionally tired. But one hard day does not get to become the headline for your life, and this is the sign that we are wanting to watch out for. Those words can make your mind overlook growth, dismiss progress, and treat a temporary struggle like a permanent sentence. So 2 Corinthians 10 5 says, and it reminds us, that we can take thoughts captive, which means we can pause before letting a painful sentence become our truth. So this week, when you hear yourself saying always or never, ask, is this fully true or is this how I feel right now? For example, instead of saying I never get it right, try saying I am still learning, and God is helping me grow one step at a time. Now let's go to sign number four, which is you mistake hiding for being wise. And I think we all do this a lot not knowing exactly what we are doing here. So the fourth sign is when fear sounds so practical that you start believing it is wisdom. You might say, don't try, don't speak up, don't apply, or don't share that part of your heart. And because it sounds cautious, you may assume it is protecting you, right? Now wisdom matters and discernment is a gift, but fear often keeps you small while calling is safety. Wisdom helps you move with care, but fear convinces you not to move at all. Sometimes what feels like peace is really avoidance. Wearing a calm little outfit, acting like it pays rent in your heart. So this week when you feel yourself pulling back, ask this question Is this protecting my peace or is this protecting my fear? For example, instead of saying I am good, I am not going to speak up because it might be uncomfortable, try saying I can speak one honest sentence with grace and God can help me handle the outcome. And here is sign number five. You let old labels speak louder than God's truth. The fifth sign is when a painful label starts becoming the main voice you listen to when you think about yourself. Now by becoming louder, I mean it begins showing up first in your mind before truth, grace, or wisdom has a chance to speak. You may notice it when you receive correction and immediately think, see, I'm a failure. Or when someone does not respond the way you hoped, and your heart says, I'm not enough. Old labels get louder when they start interpreting your life for you, turning small moments into proof that the hurtful word was true. So watch for the sentence that rises quickly when you feel embarrassed, rejected, afraid, or unseen. Be mindful of those words or those thoughts. Take a pause and ask, is this God's truth or is this an old label trying to explain my current moment? Now, this week, when that old label shows up first, gently answer it with truth. God's word instead of agreement. For example, instead of saying, I'm difficult, try saying, I am learning how to communicate my needs with honesty, kindness, and wisdom. Now let's bring this into our private time with God, our journaling time. This is where the teaching becomes personal because sometimes we do not notice how deeply a sentence or that thought has shaped us until we just slow down enough to write it out. Your journal can become a safe place to tell the truth without judging yourself. Invite God into the fear underneath those words and practice a new sentence rooted in his truth. Now you don't have to rush this. Let these prompts help you listen to your heart with compassion. So we're gonna go over three prompts. So grab your journal and let's kind of get into this. So the first prompt is what sentence have I been speaking over myself that may be weakening my confidence? And I'm sure you have been thinking along the way while we have been going through this episode. So I'm sure you already may have something. The best way to answer this prompt, though, is to write that sentence exactly as it comes up in your mind. Do not soften it, fix it, or make it sound more spiritual. Just be honest, be transparent with yourself about the words you have been repeating. So an example might be: I keep telling myself I'm not the kind of person who speaks up. I say it when I feel nervous, when I do not want to disappoint someone, or when I assume my voice will create conflict. So be honest on this one, be transparent and invite God to show you because God will show you if you ask Him. The next prompt: what fear or wound or old belief might be hiding underneath that thought or that sentence? And so, with this prompt, the best way to answer it might be is just to be curious rather than critical here. Ask yourself what the sentence may be trying to protect you from, such as rejection, failure, embarrassment, conflict, or being misunderstood. An example might sound like this. Underneath that thought or that sentence, I think I am afraid of being judged or making someone upset. I may have learned that staying quiet feels safer than being honest, even when silence leaves me feeling small. Here's our third and final prompt. What truth field courage sentence can I practice with God this week? And this is where we shift and allow God's truth, his word, to take up residence. The best way to answer this prompt is to create one sentence that is honest, that's gentle, and rooted in faith. It should not deny how you feel, but it should remind your heart that fear does not get the final word. And so an example might sound like this I may feel nervous, but God can help me speak one honest sentence with wisdom, courage, and grace. This is the hard work for this week. Notice the old sentence. Name what is underneath it, and practice a new one with God. One prayer, one page, and one truth field sentence at a time.

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And so

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My sister, today we named the ways our words can quietly work against that confidence God is helping us build. You may have noticed I can't statements, old labels, fear-based language, or words like always and never trying to define your story. But here is the hope. You can practice a new way of speaking with grace, truth, and courage. And you have definitely shown some courage today. So every time you pause, take a thought captive, and replace defeat with God's truth, you make room for healing. And God honors that. So be gentle with yourself this week. God is not asking you to shame yourself into confidence, He is inviting you to be renewed by truth. So let's go into prayer right here. I would just like to take this moment to pray over you. Father God, I just pray over my sisters here listening today. Help her notice the words that have been weakening her confidence and gently lead her back to your truth. Your word says, Let the weak say, I am strong. So teach her how to speak strength how to speak strength even when she feels afraid, tired, or unsure. Help her take every thought captive and release the old labels that do not agree with who you say she is. Renew her mind, strengthen her heart, and help her speak with courage one faithful sentence at a time. In Jesus' name. Amen. So, my sister, before you go, I would love it if you would just tap that follow button and follow me on this podcast so you could be the first to get that next episode. And I also just want to invite you to join my self-love journal journey newsletter. Every week I share faith-rooted encouragement, journaling prompts, hardwork reflections to help you grow in that self-love, build that confidence, and truth with God. If this episode helped you notice the words you have been speaking over yourself, the newsletter is a beautiful next step to keep practicing this work beyond the episode. You do not have to grow alone. You can take this journey, one page, one prayer, and one truth-filled sentence at a time. So I just want to thank you, my sisters, for spending this time with me. Remember, every open journal is an invitation for God to move. Until next time, keep rising, keep journaling, and keep becoming who God made you to be.