Hello, my beauties, and welcome back to the Self-Love Journaling with God podcast. I am your host, Shonda, and I am so glad you are here with me today. This podcast is more than just journaling, it's all about doing the heart work with God as we heal, as we grow, and learn to love ourselves the way He does. One journal page at a time. And so, my friend, welcome back to this series that we are doing. This is episode three, and the series is when words shape your word. And we are learning about the words that we use and how words has impacted us. And today we are talking about something quite powerful here. The words we keep repeating to ourselves after we have been hurt. This is powerful here. And so last week we talked a little bit about how to stop letting old words define us. We explored how painful words can become labels if we keep carrying them. But today we are going a little deeper because sometimes the pain is not only what someone has said to us, but sometimes the pain is what we keep saying afterward. Maybe someone planted the sentence, but we kept watering it. Maybe someone made us feel a little small or rejected. And even after they stopped saying it, the words kept echoing in our minds. So today I want us to sit with this truth. You cannot heal fully while continuing to repeat words that keep you bound. So in this episode, you're going to learn how negative self-talk can keep those old wounds alive and how renewing your mind keeps you stop agreeing with what has wounded you. You will take with you a simple journaling practice using sentence stems to help you notice the words you have been repeating and begin replacing those with God's truth. So I want you to take a deep breath here. I want you to grab your journal if you can, and let's dive in right here. So I want you to picture a woman sitting in her car after a long day. The sun has gone down, her purse is in the passenger seat, her keys are still in her hand. She made it home, but she has not made it inside yet. She is just sitting there, not because anything huge happened, but because something small hid a deep place. Maybe someone gave her a look or maybe a coworker corrected her. Maybe a text went unanswered, and before she even realized it, her mind starts talking. You always mess things up. You should have known better. Now here's the painful part. Nobody else is in the car. Nobody else is speaking, but the words are still there. And maybe that has happened to you too. Someone said something years ago, but now your own inner voice sounds like that wound. Maybe someone called you dramatic. And now every emotion comes with shame. And so, my friend, this is why today matters. Because when we keep repeating the words that wounded us, we can accidentally keep ourselves tied to that pain. But healing often begins when we stop agreeing with that wound. So let's talk about one important word today: agreement. I'm sure I have spoken about this too as well in other episodes. But agreement means accepting something as true or coming into agreement with it. So when a wound says you are not enough, and you start repeating, I am not enough, that is agreement. When shame says you always ruin things and you say I always mess everything up, that is agreement. Now I want to be very clear here. Having a negative thought does not mean you have failed. It does not mean you are not spiritual. It does not mean you are not healing. Thoughts come, feelings rise, old memories get triggered. We are human. But the work begins when we pause and ask, do I want to keep partnering with this thought? Because every thought does not deserve your agreement. Every inner sentence does not deserve a permanent seat in your mind. And every word does not get to become your identity. That is why Romans 12 2 is so important. And it says here in the NIV version, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This is a familiar scripture for us. That word transformed, it matters. God is not only helping you feel better for a moment, He is renewing how you think, how you see yourself, how you respond to pain, and how you speak to yourself. Renewing your mind is not a one-time journal entry. It is a holy practice. It is the practice of noticing that old language and choosing truth again. It is learning to say that thought feels familiar, but familiar does not mean faithful. Some of the thoughts we have repeated the longest are not leading us toward freedom. Hear me on this. We want to be able to practice becoming better at being aware of what is taking place. So, from a psychological perspective, this is connected to negative self-talk. Negative self-talk is the inner language we use toward ourselves when we feel hurt, afraid, embarrassed, overwhelmed, or even triggered. And it can sound like this I cannot do anything right. I always fail. I am too much. I am not lovable. These are the type of things that we may say to ourselves. And here is why it matters. Your brain learns through repetition. The more often you repeat a thought, the easier it becomes for your mind to reach for that thought again. And usually, oftentimes, we don't really kind of realize that we're repeating things. So it's like walking through tall grass. The first time it takes effort to make a path. But if you keep walking that same path through that grass every day, the grass gets pressed down. Eventually, that path becomes easy to follow. That is how our thought patterns work. So if you keep saying I'm not enough, your brain starts treating that thought, that sentence, like a familiar path. Even if it hurts, even if it is not true, even if it came from someone else's brokenness, that is why journaling can be so helpful. Journaling helps us slow the thought down. Instead of letting that sentence run wild in our minds, we can put it on paper. And once it is on paper, you can look at it differently. You can ask, where did this come from? Is this true? Is this helping me heal? What does God say instead? That is part of renewing your mind right there. That is part of taking those thoughts captive. And so we have been talking about 2 Corinthians 10, 4 and 5 in this series, and it says the weapons we fight are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. And that is in the NIV version. And then it says we demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. We demolish it and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. So, my sisters, some thoughts need to be challenged, some thoughts need to be interrupted. Some thoughts need to be brought under the truth of Christ. We're the only ones that can do that for ourselves. Not because you are bad for having them or wrong for having them, but because you are too loved to be led by lies. God loves us so much. So what does God really say about this issue? God cares about your mind. He cares about your inner life. He cares about the quiet conversations you have with yourself when nobody else is around. Sometimes we think God only cares about our behavior, but scripture shows us that God cares deeply about the heart and the mind. He does not want you trapped in thoughts that keep you bound. He does not want you repeating that shame like it is your name. He does not want you calling yourself what pain called you. God wants us free. That's why Jesus came. The enemy loves when old words become weapons. He loves when you keep repeating what broke you. But God, He gives us another way. And that's where Romans 12, 2 come in at. And it says we are transformed by the renewing of our mind. And 2 Corinthians 10 says we can take thoughts captive. That means you do not have to let every thought lead you. You can pause and ask, does this thought agree with God's truth? If the thought says I am worthless, it does not agree with God. If that thought says I am beyond help, it does not agree with God. If that thought says I have no purpose, it does not agree with God. So we challenge it. We bring it into the light, we practice a new sentence. Why does this matter for our self-love and faith journey here? This matters deeply because the way you speak to yourself affects the way you show up in your life. That's just plain and simple. If you keep telling yourself I always mess things up, you may avoid trying new things. If you keep telling yourself nobody cares, you may stop asking for support. Without even realizing it, your inner words, your inner self-talk can shape your outer life. That is why self-love with God is not just about confidence. It's about learning to stop partnering with language that keeps you small. It is learning to speak to yourself in a way that agrees with heaven more than history. History might say you were rejected, but God says you are loved. History might say you were overlooked, but God says you are seen. And this is the prime example of what I am talking about when I say agreement. Are you going to agree with what history has said or are you going to agree with what God is saying? History might say you were wounded, but God says you can be made whole. And no, that does not mean we pretend. Faith does not require denial. Healing does not mean acting like it did not hurt. It means that wound no longer gets the final word. So let's talk a little bit about Peter and the words after failure here. Now, in the New Testament with Peter, this really kind of connects beautifully to what we're talking about. The story of Peter after he denied Jesus. Now, Peter, we know he loved Jesus. He walked with him, he learned from him, he saw Jesus' miracles up close. Peter was bold, he was passionate, and quick to speak. And honestly, Peter gives hope to all of us who have ever loved God deeply, but still had moments where fear got loud. Before Jesus was crucified, Peter said he would never deny him. And so in Matthew 26, verse 35, it says, Peter declared, Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you. That was Peter's intention. He meant it. But later, when pressure came, fear rose up. While Jesus was being questioned, people began recognizing Peter as one of his followers. And three times Peter denied knowing Jesus. In Matthew 26, verses 74 and 75, it says, then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, I don't know the man. Immediately a rooster crowed. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken. Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times. And he went, Peter went outside and wept bitterly. Now my sister, pause right there. Peter did not just make a small mistake. This was painful. This was personal. This was the kind of moment that could have turned into a lifelong inner thought, inner sentence. I failed Jesus. I am not as strong as I thought. I ruined my calling. I cannot be trusted. God must be disappointed in me. The Bible does not tell us every thought Peter had after that moment, but it does tell us he wept bitterly. That tells us his heart was broken. And isn't that how failure can feel sometimes? Not just I made a mistake, but maybe this mistake says something about who I am. That is where shame gets dangerous. Shame loves to take that one powerful moment and turn it into a permanent identity. Shame says you failed, so you are a failure. That's what shame says. But Jesus did not leave Peter there. After the resurrection, Jesus met Peter again. Now in John the 21st chapter, Jesus had breakfast with his disciples by the sea. Then he turned toward Peter and asked him three times, do you love me? And so in John 21, verse 17, it says, The third time he said to him, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, do you love me? He said, Do you love me? And Peter said, Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you. Jesus said, Feed my sheep. That moment is so powerful. And I think it's powerful for all of us, really. Because Peter denied Jesus three times. And Jesus gave Peter three opportunities to confess his love. He had him to repeat it. Jesus was not pretending the denial never happened, he was restoring Peter. And after each confession, Jesus gave Peter purpose. He said, Feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep. In other words, Jesus did not say, Peter, you fail, so sit down forever. He said, Peter, I still have work for you. So my friend, that is what God's truth does. That's what God's truth does, that's what the word does for us. It does not deny what happened, it redeems what happened. It does not excuse every action, it restores the heart back to love, back to truth, and back to God's purpose. Maybe the words you keep repeating are connected to something someone said to you. Or maybe they are connected to something you regret. Maybe that inner voice keeps saying you should have known better. You ruined everything. But Peter's story reminds us that Jesus does not define his people by their lowest moments. Jesus meets Peter at the place of pain and gives him a new word. Not shame, not rejection, not disqualification, but restoration. Renewed thinking does not say I am perfect. Renewed thinking says I am loved, I am restored, and still being formed by God. That is the shift right there. And so, my friend, that is the kind of inner language we are practicing here. Not fake positivity, not pretending, not brushing pain under the rug like I'm fine while your heart is quietly falling apart in the corner. This is deeper than that. This is choosing to let Jesus speak louder than that shame. So how do we live this out? How do we stop repeating words that wound us when those words feel automatic? First, we notice the sentence. We notice the thought, not judge it, not shame ourselves for having it, just notice it. Sometimes we are so used to speaking harshly to ourselves, we do not even hear it anymore. We say I'm so stupid, I always ruin everything, I should be further along than where I'm at right now. Nobody wants to hear from me. We say all of these things. And because we have said it so many times, it feels normal. But normal does not always mean healthy. So start by asking, what did I just say to myself? Then ask, where did that come from? That question is gentle but powerful because sometimes your inner critic is not original. Sometimes it is repeating someone else's voice, what somebody else said to you. Maybe it sounds like a parent, a past relationship, like rejection. Maybe it sounds like a season where you were doing your best, but someone still made you feel like your best was not enough. Now the second step here is to challenge that thought or that sentence. Bring it before God. Bring it before Scripture, bring it before truth. You do not have to accept every thought just because it showed up. A thought can be loud and still be wrong. A thought can feel old and still be false. A thought can feel emotionally true and still not be spiritually true. That is why 2 Corinthians 10 5 matters. We take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. So we pause and we ask, does this thought agree with Jesus? If it does not, we do not keep feeding it. We want to put the truth on it. And here is the third step, which is to replace that sentence with the truth. And I want to be clear here replacing the thought does not mean you instantly feel better. Sometimes your feelings need time to catch up. Sometimes your nervous system is still activated. And sometimes the old thought has had years of practice. So keep that in mind. You still doing a holy practice. So when you speak truth, it may feel awkward at first. And that is okay. Truth can feel unfamiliar when lies have been repeated for such a long time. But unfamiliar does not mean untrue. So instead of saying I always mess up, you might say, I am learning, and God gives me grace to grow. Instead of saying I am not enough, you might say, My worth is not measured by performance. I am loved by God. This is where journaling becomes such a beautiful tool. Because when we journal, we are not just venting, we are listening, we are noticing, we are bringing our inner world into the light with God. And so, my sister, I will say this gently here. Many of us would never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves. I don't think we would. We encourage others, we pray for others, we give grace to others, then we turn around and talk to ourselves with a tone we would never use with someone we love. But God cares about how you speak to his daughter. And yes, that daughter is you. Now let's move into our journaling practice here. This is where we slow down and let God meet us on the page. Because when we talk about old words and inner language, it can stir up emotion. So before you write, I want you to take another deep breath here. Relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw. Just relax, let your hands rest for a moment. You are safe to be honest with God here. Your journaling time should be that honest time with God. You do not have to clean up your thoughts before bringing them to Him. He can handle the raw version. For today's journaling practice, we are going to use a technique called sentence stems. And I have used it before here. A sentence stem is simply the beginning of a sentence that helps you start writing when you do not know exactly what to say yet. It kind of gives your heart a doorway. You do not have to force the perfect answer. You just complete the sentence as honest as you can be. So the first one is one painful sentence I keep repeating to myself is. And so what this one is asking is, it's asking you to name the inner thought or sentence that keeps showing up in your mind. Not the polished version, the real sentence. Naming it doesn't mean you agree with it. Naming it means you are bringing it into the light. Here's our sentence stem, our second one here. I think this sentence started when. Or I think this thought started when. This is asking you to gently explore where this thought may have started. You are not trying to blame yourself. You are simply asking, where did I learn this? Maybe it started after criticism. Maybe it came from rejection or it came from childhood. Maybe it came from a relationship where you felt unseen, compared, dismissed, or constantly corrected. Take your time with this one. You do not have to write the whole story, just write what comes up. And here's our next one. This sentence has been affecting me by this is asking you to notice the impact. The impact of this thought or this sentence. The impact of how this thought or sentence has been weighing on you. Because repeated words do not just stay in our minds, they shape how we show up. Maybe this sentence has made you shrink. Maybe it has made you overexplained or made you people please or it has made you avoid opportunities. Maybe it has made you speak harshly to yourself when you are already hurting. Now pause and answer that honestly. And then our last sentence stem, the truth God is inviting me to practice instead is. Remind her that she is loved, she is seen, she is restored and not defined by what wounded her. Let your voice, Father, become louder than the wound. In Jesus' name, amen. Alright, my sister. Before we close, I just want to say thank you for spending this time with me today. And if this episode encouraged you, please don't forget to follow the podcast so you do not miss what is coming next. Remember, every open journal is an invitation for God to move. Until next time, keep rising, keep journaling, and keep becoming who God made you to be.