Welcome to the Self-Love Journaling with God podcast. I am your host, Shonda, and I am so grateful you are here with me today. This podcast is about more than journaling, it's about doing the heart work with God as we heal, as we grow and learn to love ourselves the way God does. In this episode, you will learn how hurtful words can shape inner beliefs and how to separate those lies from God's truth. You will take away with you a simple way to notice old lies, challenge them, and begin healing. We are leaning into something that may seem small but carries real weight today. Something that can follow a woman for years, sometimes even decades. A sentence, a comment, a label, a cutting moment, a careless word spoken at the wrong time. A voice that got loud in a vulnerable place. And maybe nobody else remembers it now, but you do. Maybe it was said in childhood. Maybe it was spoken in a relationship. Maybe it came from a parent, a teacher, a boss, someone you deeply trusted. Maybe it was said casually or in anger, but it landed in a place that was tender, that was sensitive. And now here you are, years later, still trying to heal from words that were spoken in a moment, but stayed in your mind much longer. I want you to picture a woman standing in front of her mirror early in the morning. The house is quiet, the light is soft. She is getting ready for the day, but you can tell her mind is already busy. She looks at herself, adjusts her clothes, pauses for a second, and then under her breath, she says, I still feel like something is wrong with me. Nobody else heard it, no one is in the room, no one corrected her, no one argued with her. No one even knows she said it. But that sentence was not new. It had history. Maybe it sounded like her own voice in that moment, but really it had echoes in it. Echoes of what somebody else once said. Echoes of being overlooked, criticism, rejection, echoes of feeling like she had to become smaller, quieter, prettier, better, more useful, more agreeable, more whatever, just to be loved well. And that is what makes this conversation so important today. Because some words do not leave quickly. And when painful words are repeated long enough in the heart and mind, they can start feeling like truth. So today we're going to talk about that. We are going to talk about the words that stayed, the labels that lingered, the lies that got repeated, and how to begin separating what was spoken over you from what God says is actually true. Just because something was said to you does not mean it has the right to rule you. Let that settle. Just because it was said does not mean it gets to stay in authority. So let's ease into this together. There's one word I want us to sit with in this episode, and that word is stronghold. I'm sure you have heard of this word before. A stronghold is something that has gained a strong grip. In a spiritual and emotional sense, a stronghold is a thought pattern, a belief or inner agreement that has become deeply rooted. It is not just a passing thought, it is something that has settled in, built a structure in you, and started influencing how you think, feel, respond, and see yourself. And that matters because sometimes hurtful words do not just wound us for a moment. Sometimes they begin building something in us. I can remember words still hurting. Even though that person may have apologized, it didn't take away that pain. If someone said you're too sensitive, enough times, that can become more than a memory. It can become a stronghold where you question your feelings every time you speak up. If someone said you'll never get it right, enough times, that can become a stronghold where you move through life already expecting failure. If someone made you feel unwanted, unworthy, too much, not enough, hard to love, or easy to dismiss, those words can move from experience to belief. And once they become beliefs, they begin shaping your identity, shaping how you see yourself. That is why this conversation is not shallow. This is not just about remembering hurtful things. This is about recognizing when something painful has become rooted. So hear me out here. Some women are not only healing from what happened to them, they are healing from what they came to believe because of what happened to them. That is real and it deserves care, it deserves compassion, and it deserves truth. And that brings me to one anchor scripture I want us to hold close to today. And that is 2 Corinthians 10, 3 through 5, which is the anchor scripture for this series, which is when words shape your worth, which began last episode. And so this anchor scripture, because it reminds us that this work is deeper than just changing our words, verse 5 says this casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. It is about letting God help us break down the lies, unhealthy thought patterns, and strongholds that have shaped how we see ourselves. With God's help, we can stop agreeing with what is false and begin bringing our thoughts and our words into alignment with his truth. That is rich. And what I love here is this God acknowledges that strongholds can exist, but he does not tell us that they are permanent. He does not say, Well, I guess that is just who you are now. No, he says they can be overthrown. That means the lie can lose its grip. It means the thought can be challenged, it means that label can be broken, and it means what got built in pain does not have to remain in power. And I think that is so important for the women listening today who has been quietly carrying words that still hurt. God is not asking you to ignore what happened, He is inviting you not to keep bowing to what was said. That is different. And this is where I want to slow down, look at this from an emotional side here. Because these kinds of wounds do not only affect us spiritually, they can also shape our self-esteem, our emotional memories, and how safe we feel on the inside. So there's one emotional perspective that really matters here, and that is internalized shame. And if you want to know more about how shame impacts our self-love walk, I want you to check out the last series where I talked about shame. But internalized shame, it happens when painful messages from outside of us become part of the way we define ourselves. It is no longer just someone says something hurtful. It becomes maybe that is who I am. That is the danger right there. A woman may have been criticized repeatedly and now she is critical of herself. A woman may have been rejected and now she expects rejection before anyone even has the chance to love her well. A woman may have been called difficult, too emotional, too needy, too loud, too much, too broken. And now every time she opens her mouth, she filters herself through those words. That is what shame does. It takes an experience and tries to turn it into an identity. And emotionally, this can show up. This can show up as apologizing for your need, struggling to trust compliments, assuming the worst about yourself, and feeling like you have to earn your worth instead of receiving it. That is why this issue goes so deep. Because hurtful words are not always just remembered. Sometimes they are rehearsed. And that's what makes this conversation so powerful. Sometimes they become the background noise of our life. And if that has been true for you, I really want you to hear me clearly here. There is nothing weak about noticing that. There is nothing dramatic about admitting that. And there is nothing shameful about needing God to help you uproot that. That's what this podcast is about. Conversations that lead to awareness that leads to God who provides that breakthrough. Now let's come back to the heart of God here. Because people say many things. Pain says many things. Fear says many things. But what does God say? God says, God says, you are not at the mercy of every voice that has spoken over you. He says this in Isaiah 54, verse 17. And from the NIV version, it says, No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me, declares the Lord. I love that scripture because it does not deny that tongues rise. It does not pretend people never say hurtful things. It does not act like judgment never happens. It says every tongue that rises in judgment will be shown to be wrong. In other words, what was spoken does not automatically become true. What they said is not final because God's word is final. And so, my sister, that matters so much on your self-love and faith journey. Because self-love in a godly way is not just about feeling better about yourself. It is also about learning to reject lies that keep pulling you away from how God sees you. It is learning to stop calling yourself what pain called you, agreeing with that, to stop wearing labels that heaven never handed you. It's learning to become more rooted in what God says than in what wounded you. And that is hard work, that is holy work right there. So why this matters for our self-love and faith journey? It matters because many women are trying to move forward while still dragging old words behind them. Trying to trust God can feel difficult when you are still carrying that fear that maybe something is wrong with you. And then when that fear is still there, self-love feels hard because your inner voice is still speaking harshly. Faith can feel unsteady because those old words are still competing with God's truth. So, yes, you may pray, you may journal, you may be doing the work to heal, but if those painful words are still shaping the way you see yourself, they can keep working against your progress. That is why we have to talk about this. Because a woman will struggle to walk in steady worth if old judgment is still telling her who she is. And maybe that sounds strong, but sometimes we need strong truth spoken softly. So let me say it like this: you are allowed to heal past what was said. You are allowed to outgrow those labels. We are allowed to stop agreeing with voices that harmed us, and we are allowed to believe God more. You know, I think about that story about Gideon. This story takes place in Judges in the sixth chapter. And I really love this story because it shows what happens when a person starts seeing themselves through the wrong lens. When we meet Gideon, Israel had been under oppression from the Midianites for years. The people were afraid, worn down, and doing whatever they could to survive. So Gideon was living in a season shaped by fear before God ever called him forward. Now in Judges the sixth chapter, 11th and 12th verse, Gideon is found hiding, threshing wheat in a wine press because he is afraid. And the angel of the Lord appears to him and says this, The Lord is with you, you mighty man of fearless courage. Now that is powerful because Gideon did not look mighty in that moment. He did not feel bold, he was hiding. And when God speaks to him, Gideon responds from a place of insecurity and limitation. How many of us have been there? I know I have. Now a little later in the chapter in Judges 6, verse 15, he basically says to God, Who am I? He points to his family line, his weakness, and how small he feels. In other words, Gideon had a different script running. God said, Mighty, Gideon felt small. God spoke identity. Gideon answered from fear. And is that not relatable? How often has God been trying to call us forward while old words keep pulling us backward? How often has God been showing us who we are becoming while we keep answering him from what hurt us? That is what makes this story so meaningful. Gideon was not only facing enemies outside of him, he was facing beliefs within himself. And that is where many of us are too. God is calling us worthy, chosen, loved, strengthened, covered, becoming, growing, and we are still answering from words spoken in pain. Words spoken from our wounds. The beauty of this story is that God does not walk away from Gideon because Gideon feels small. He stays with him, he works with him, he strengthens him, and that is what God does with us too. He is patient while he teaches us to see ourselves differently. That's a good God right there. So how do we apply this now in real time? How do you live this out when the words still echo sometimes? First, you begin by noticing which words still carry power in you. You can't heal what you don't know. Not just which words hurt, which words still influence you. What phrase still changes your mood? What label is that that still makes you shrink? What old message still shows up when you try to do something brave, honest, visible, or healthy? That is where you start. And then you bring it under the light of 2 Corinthians 10 5, which says bringing every thought captive into the obedience of Christ. Captive means you do not let it just roam around unquestioned. You stop it, you examine it, you ask, is this from God? Does this agree with truth? Does this sound like healing? Does this sound like freedom? Or does this sound like an old wound trying to stay in church? And so, my friend, I want to say this in a very practical way. Taking thoughts captive often sounds like interrupting the old sentence. It sounds like that may be what was said, but that is not what God says. That may be what I felt, but that is not the whole truth. That may be what happened, but it does not get to define me. Did you hear that? In that you are taking it captive, the thoughts, the words. I remember in my own life having to stop when certain thoughts showed up and realizing this is not just me being hard on myself. This is me repeating something I have heard before in pain. And once I saw that more clearly, I could respond differently. Not perfectly, but intentionally. And that is what I want for you today. Not instant perfection, but intentional interruption. That is how healing often begins. So maybe this week, when that old thought comes up that might say no one really wants me, or I always ruin things, I should stay small. Instead of letting it settle in your spirit, you pause, you breathe, and you say, No, I will not let this rule me just because it was said to me. That is application, that is practice, that is hard work. And it may seem small, but small holy interruptions lead to big change. And that leads us right into the journaling part of today's episode. Because sometimes the page helps us catch what has been running quietly in the mind. Sometimes writing slows the lie down long enough for us to see it clearly. So let's take a gentle turn and work together. If you have your journal nearby, go ahead and grab it. If you are driving or walking or doing dishes or something, just listen now and come back to this later when you have a quiet moment. So I want you to take a deep breath, relax, unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders a little, and let yourself be honest. This is a great way to get into your quiet time and your journaling time. And here's the journaling prompt for today. What hurtful words or labels have I been carrying and how have this? They shape the way I see myself. I want you to write without rushing here. Name the words. Name where they came from, if you know. Name how they still affect you. And then underneath that, I want you to write, What is God saying that is truer than what was said to me? Here is one practical step. I want you to choose one lingering lie you have been believing and write one truth-based response beside it. For example, the lie might be I'll never really change. But the truth is, from God, with God, healing and growth are possible. I do not have to stay who pain tried to make me. Another example might be something is wrong with me. That's a lie. But the truth may sound like I may be healing, but I'm not defective. God is caring for me and restoring me. Another lie might sound like I have to earn love. And the truth could sound like God's love is not something I have to prove myself worthy of. I am love because I am his. And so here's a healthy perspective I want to leave with you today. Not every voice that shaped you deserves to stay with you. I'm going to say that one more time. Not every voice that shaped you deserves to stay with you. Take a pause here. I want you to write, breathe, notice what is coming up here. And if you need another moment, just take it. Here's an affirmation I want you to kind of consider and grab hold to for this week. I release the lies that wounded me, and I choose to agree with what God says about me. Let that be more than a sentence. Let it become a practice. I want you to connect it with this scripture. Isaiah 54 17 says, But no weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that shall rise against you in judgment, you shall show to be in the wrong. This week when an old label rises up, I want you to practice doing something simple and doable. Pause, say the affirmation out loud, then speak your truth response. That's it. Maybe do it in the mirror. Maybe do it in your journal. Whisper it in your car. Maybe see it in the bathroom at work if you need to. Keep it simple, keep it steady, keep it honest. You are not trying to perform healing. You are practicing agreement with truth. And so, my sister, if this episode felt personal, that makes sense. Some words really did hurt. Some labels really did linger. Some moments really did leave a mark. And I just want to celebrate you for showing up to this conversation with courage. It takes courage to look at the lies we have been carrying, to admit that certain words still echo and to stop pretending those things do not affect us. And it also takes courage to begin again. So I honor that in you today. You are not weak because you are still healing from what was said. You are not behind because it still affects you sometimes. And you are not failing because you need to practice truth repeatedly. We all do sometimes. You are doing the work and that matters. And so if today's episode met you in a safe and tender place, I would love to invite you to my self-love family through my weekly newsletter. It is a gentle space where I share journaling tips, faith-field encouragement, and a little reminder in your inbox that says you're not alone in this. So if you want a little weekly boost as you keep healing and reflecting and growing with me, I would love to have you there as well. As we begin to close, I want to pray over you because sometimes after an episode like this, it helps to let someone put words around what your heart has been carrying. So just breathe for a second and receive this prayer. Lord, I pray for the women listening right now. You see the words that were spoken over her, you see the labels that lingered, you see the places where judgment tried to settle into identity. But your word says that every tongue that rises against her in judgment will be shown to be wrong, and that through you, strongholds can be overthrown. So today help her bring every painful thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Help her separate what was said from what is true. Heal the places where hurtful words took root, and remind her that what wounded her does not get to rule her. Steady her heart, renew her mind, and teach her to agree with your truth more and more. In Jesus' name, amen. Alright, God's beauties. I just want to take a moment to just thank you for listening today. If you are in the healing season, working on your self-love or learning how to journal with God, I want you to go ahead and follow this podcast as a steady source of encouragement for your self-love journey. And I'd really love to hear from you. What topics would you like me to cover? How has this podcast been helping you in your journaling journey? You can click that fan mail link in the show notes and just leave me a comment or even a voice message. I would love to hear your heart. So thank you for spending this time with me. Remember, every open journal is an invitation for God to move. Until next time, keep rising, keep journaling, and keep becoming who God made you to be.