Welcome, my beauties, to the Self-Love Journaling with God podcast. I am your host, Shonda, and I am so grateful you are joining me here today. This podcast is about more than journaling. It's about learning how to process life with God instead of carrying everything by yourself, one page and one prayer at a time. Today we're beginning a brand new series. I am so excited about. This series is called When Words Shape Your Worth. And I want to start here, my sister. Your words matter more than you may realize. If you have been listening to any of my episodes, you know that I speak a lot about words and how we speak to ourselves. Not just the words you say out loud to other people, not just the words you type when you are upset. Not even the words you say when you are praying. I mean the everyday words, the quiet words, the frustrated words, the tired words, the words you say when nobody else hears you. The words you say after a hard conversation. The words you say when you look in the mirror. The words you say when you make a mistake. And the words you say when life is not going the way you hoped. Those words are not just floating around doing nothing. They are shaping something. They are shaping how we see ourselves. They are shaping how you carry yourself. They are shaping what we expect from ourselves. And they are shaping what you believe is possible for yourself. And that is why this series really matters. Because learning to master your words, God's way can truly change your life. Not in this fake, overly polished, just say something positive and everything will magically work out kind of way. No, I mean in a real way, a grounded way, a healing way, a biblical way, and a practical way. Because when God begins to work on your words, he is often also working on your thoughts, your beliefs, your identity, and your heart. So before we go any further, I just want to ask you something. What have you been saying about yourself lately? You've probably heard me say this before. So take a deep breath here with that. Not what you say in church, not what you post online, not even what you know you should say. What have you really been saying about yourself lately? Maybe it sounds like I'm too emotional or I should be further along by now. Who doesn't say that? I'm tired of me. Why am I like this? And maybe you have said those things so often that they no longer sound harsh to you. They just sound normal. But my friend, just because something has become normal does not mean it is harmless. And today we are gently beginning the work of noticing that. Not shaming ourselves for it, not acting like we have to become perfect overnight, but noticing it because awareness is holy work too. So in this series, we are going to talk about the power of words from different angles. And actually, this is going to be like a seven-part series. So I hope you just stay with me. We are going to talk about the words we say about ourselves, which that's what we're going to talk about today. The words other people have spoken over us. We are going to dive into words we repeat in private to ourselves, our self-talk. We are going to talk about words that build strongholds that keep us stuck, and the words that can help us heal when they come into agreement with God's truth. This is not just about speaking better. This is about learning to live with more intention. It is about learning to stop partnering with lies that wear your voice. Let me say that again because that thing has weight right there. Sometimes we are repeating lies that have simply learned how to sound like us. And that is what makes this work so important. Because some of us are not only fighting what happened to us, we are fighting what we now say to ourselves because of what happened to us. And that is deep work. But it is also hopeful work because God does not just care about what happened on the outside, He cares about what has formed on the inside of us. And to help you go deeper with this series, I created a 30-day journal workbook companion for you to download. So as you listen, I want to encourage you to take hold of this, grab hold to it, and use it alongside these episodes. Let it be your space to reflect, pray, and begin building your worth with the right words. Now, this topic is personal for me because there have been times in my own life when I had to stop and really listen to the way I was talking about myself. And I realized something that was honestly a little uncomfortable. I was speaking from frustration, I was speaking from disappointment, from pressure, from weariness. And even though some of those words felt small in the moment, they were adding up. Little phrases like, I would say to myself, like, I can't do this. I wouldn't even say it out loud. It would be something I would say to myself when in my private time when I was alone. I might say, This is too hard for me. I'm not going to do that. Maybe I'm just not good at this. And what hit me was that those words were not just passing through, they were landing, they were settling in, they were shaping how I viewed myself. And one of the scriptures that really helped me was 2 Corinthians 10, 3 through 5. That scripture helped me to see that I had a part to play. And so that passage of Scripture says this, for though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. And so I had to learn how to take my part and cooperate with God on this. Not in the sense of blaming myself, but in the sense of participating in my own renewal, participating in what I allow to stay in my own mind. And what I agree with, participating in whether I keep letting harmful thoughts and words run around unchecked, like they own the place. That scripture showed me that I do not have to just sit there and let every thought build a home in me. I have a role in bringing thoughts captive. We have a role in bringing those thoughts captive. And we have a role in noticing what is trying to shape us. And so one it was one book that also helped me, and I'm just going to share that with you. And it still helps me, and it's called The Tongue, a Creative Force by Charles Caps. And I'll have that in the show notes for you as well. Because it really pressed the truth that words are not neutral. Words are carrying something, they are reinforcing something, and they are moving in a direction. And when I began to sit with that more deeply, I realized oh, this is not just about cleaning up my language. This is about guarding what I am building with my mouth. Wow. And that is real, isn't it? It's really real because many times we think we are just venting. And sometimes we are, but sometimes we are also rehearsing defeat. Sometimes we are watering hopelessness, sometimes we are strengthening fear, and we are repeating an old wound in first person. And the Lord, in his kindness, invites us into something a whole lot better. So let's talk a little bit about what a story in the Bible. I think about the moment when the twelve spies came back after scouting out the promised land in Numbers 13, 27 to 33. And so God had already promised his people the land. He had already brought them out of Egypt. He had already made a way through the Red Sea. He had already shown them again and again that he was faithful and he was able. But when the spies returned, most of them did not focus on what God had said. They focused on what looked big, hard, and intimidating. They said the land was good, but then their words shifted. They started talking about the strong cities, the giants, and how small they felt in comparison. And so in Numbers 13, verse 33, it says, We were in our own sight as grasshoppers. And so we were in their sight. Wow. That part always stands out to me. Because before they were defeated in battle, they were first defeated in their perspective. Their words revealed how small they had started to see themselves. And is that not relatable? How often do we do that in our own lives? God may be calling us forward, healing us, stretching us, growing us, but then fear starts talking. Insecurity starts talking. Past pain starts talking. And suddenly, instead of repeating what God said, we start repeating what feels overwhelming. We start saying things like, I'm not ready, I can't do this, I'm too much of a mess. And little by little our words begin to shrink us. That is why this matters so much. Because the issue was not just the giants in the land. The issue was also the agreement they made with fear. They agreed with the fear they had rather than what God said. And so, my sister, that is still true for us. There are times when what we see feels louder than what God said. There are moments when our feelings grab the microphone first. And there are seasons when our words sound more like panic than peace. Now that does not make you a bad believer or make us a bad believer. That just makes us human. But God loves us too much to let fear continue to narrate our lives. He gently teaches us to come out of agreement with what is shrinking us and come back into agreement with his truth. And that's what this series is all about. So now let's talk a little bit about this from our faith perspective and a psychological perspective. Because I think it is helpful to see how they connect. From a faith perspective, God He cares deeply about what is happening in our inner world. He is not only concerned with your behavior, he also cares about your thought life, your heart posture, and the agreement you are making internally. That is why 2 Corinthians 10 verses 3 through 5 is so powerful. It reminds us that while we live in that flesh, our real battles are not merely surface level. There are strongholds, imaginations, and thoughts that must be brought under the obedience of Christ. And that tells us something beautiful. It tells us that not every thought deserves to stay, not every belief deserves agreement. Not every sentence you hear in your mind is truth. And not every word you have spoken over yourself has to continue shaping you. God's heart is not to condemn you for having struggled in this area. God's heart is to help you come into freedom. That is one core truth I want to sit with today. God does not shame us for the battles that we have in our mind. He invites us to let him help us fight differently. And so I love that because some women carry so much guilt over their thoughts. But guilt does not heal thoughts. Truth does. Now, let's switch over a little bit to a psychological perspective here. Research and therapeutic work around cognition or our cognitive teaches us that repeated thoughts shape beliefs. And beliefs influence emotions and behavior. In simple words, what you repeatedly think and say can become the lens through which you view yourself and your life. That is why negative self-talk matters. When a woman keeps saying, I'm not enough, I always fail, or I'm not pretty, or I'm not good enough, or I ruin everything, her mind begins to treat those phrases like facts. Over time, those words can reinforce that shame, lower her confidence, increase the anxiety, and strengthen unhelpful patterns. Psychology might cause some of these cognitive distortions or deeply rooted belief patterns. Scripture calls us to something deeper than just labeling the thought. Scripture calls us to bring it captive. That is where I love how faith and psychological wisdom can meet in a healthy way. Psychology helps us notice the pattern. God's truth helps us challenge it and replace it. Psychology may say repeated thoughts shape identity, but God says, yes, and that is exactly why you must not let every thought sit on the throne. So when God tells us to take thoughts captive, he is not asking us to ignore reality. He is teaching us not to be ruled by those distortions. Now that is a word for somebody today. So let's look at Proverbs 18 21, which says this Death and Life are in the power of the tongue. That verse is simple but is weighty. Death and life, not irritation and encouragement, not negativity and positivity. He said, Death and life. That means our words are carrying far more than mood. They are carrying influence. And so, my friend, that influence does not begin only when you speak to others. It begins with how you speak to yourself. Because your own heart is listening to you too. Let that sit for a second. Your own heart is listening to you. What has it been hearing? Has it been hearing patience? Has it been hearing mercy? Has it been hearing hope? Has it been hearing truth? Or has it mostly been hearing pressure, criticism, defeat, and disappointment? This matters because you cannot build a healthy sense of worth while constantly tearing yourself down with your own mouth. So let's slow down here and do what we do here. Let's journal. So I want you to grab your journal, your notes app, a piece of paper, whatever you have nearby that you like to journal with. And before you start writing, just take a deep breath with me. Inhale slowly, exhale gently, and I want you to say to yourself, Lord, help me be honest, not dramatic, not polished, just honest. So here are two questions that I'm going to ask you. I want you to reflect on this. The first one is, what words or phrases have I been saying about myself lately that may be shaping how I see myself? Which of those words feel rooted in truth and which feel rooted in fear or shame, disappointment, or old pain or old wounds? And really take your time and think about that. Because this is where we can notice what we've been doing. We're bringing ourselves into awareness. Sometimes the phrases that come up are ones we say so casually we barely notice them. Like I'm always behind, I can't handle anything, I never get anything right. Write what comes up for you. No filtering, no trying to sound spiritual, just write. Now let me walk you through a simple process you can use this week. We're gonna talk about seven steps here. The first one is notice the repeated phrases. I want you to write down one sentence you say about yourself often, just one, the one that keeps showing up. Maybe it is I'm always messing things up or I can't get this right. We just talked about that a little bit ago. Step two, ask where it shows up most. When do I say this after a conflict, after making a mistake, when I feel tired, when I compare myself, when I feel rejected? Write that down. Step three, name what this phrase produces in you. How do you feel after saying it? Do you feel small, hopeless, ashamed, defeated, maybe, anxious, or drained? Because this is important. A lot of times we say words without stopping to notice the fruit they produce. Step four, ask what belief is underneath it. What does this phrase suggest I believe about myself? That I'm failing, that I'm unworthy, that I'm weak, that I disappoint people, that I never measure up. Write the underlying belief. Because this is where you're being real and you're being honest. Step five, bring that thought before God. Let's invite God in right here. Now ask, Lord, is this true? Is this how you see me? What truth do you want me to hold instead? Sit with that. Do not rush that part. Then number six, write a truth-based replacement statement. Not a fake statement, not something performative, a truth-based statement. Instead of I'm always messing things up, maybe your replacement becomes I am learning, I'm growing, and God is helping me mature. Instead of I'm not enough, maybe it becomes my worth is not earned by perfection. I am valuable because I belong to God. Maybe instead of I always fail, maybe it becomes. A hard moment does not define my whole story. And our final step, step seven, speak that new statement gently, out loud. Say it out loud, not with pressure, just with intention. Because sometimes your healing begins with hearing a different sound come out of your own mouth. Is stars there. And that is powerful. So let's anchor this in the word. We're going to go over a few scriptures here. I just want you to grab hold to as we get into this series. 2 Corinthians 10 3.5. We talked a little bit about that. This passage reminds us that strongholds are real, but they are not unbeatable. Thoughts can be challenged, imaginations can be cast down. We can bring what has been running wild in the mind into obedience to Christ. And that's what we're doing in this series. Connection to our topic today. This is the connection. You do not have to let every negative thought become a permanent belief. Another scripture to anger us is Proverbs 18 21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Your words carry influence. They are not small. What you repeatedly say can either feed hopelessness or support healing. And then Romans 12 2. It says, Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. Transformation is not just about trying harder, it's about being renewed in how you think, which will also affect how you speak. And then our final anchor scripture here is Ephesians 4, verse 2, 4th chapter, verse 29, and it says, Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying. God cares that your words build up. And yes, that includes the words you speak over yourself too. So, my sister, that means this work is not shallow here. We're doing this is discipleship work, this is healing work, mind renewal work, and identity work. Here is one small action step for the week I want you to consider. I want you to choose one negative phrase you say about yourself often and replace it with one scripture-rooted truth every single day this week. And that's it. Keep it simple. When the old phrase shows up, do not panic. Just notice it and answer it with truth, not perfectly, but consistently. For example, if that old phrase, I'm not enough, shows up, try saying this. This is a truth response. God's love for me is not based on performance, and my worth is secure in Him. If the old phrase comes up saying, I can't do this, the truth response should be, with God's help, I can take this one step at a time. This is not about becoming robotic, it's about becoming intentional. And so let me just encourage you here. Do not be discouraged if you realize you have been speaking harshly to yourself for a long time. We have all been there. That realization is not failure, that realization is insight. And insight is a gift. You are not behind because you are noticing the pattern. You are becoming aware. And awareness is often the doorway to change. Also, please hear me on this. You do not have to become the perfect speaker overnight to begin healing. This is not about never having a hard thought again. This is about no longer letting hard thoughts lead your inner life unchecked. You are learning, you are growing, you are practicing. And God is patient with me and you in this process. I really want you to remember this. The goal is not perfection in your words, the goal is greater agreement with God's truth. That is the work. There is hope here because the same mouth that has repeated fear can learn to speak that peace. The same mouth that has repeated defeat can learn to speak faith. The same mouth that has repeated shame can learn to speak truth. The same heart that has listened to criticism can begin to hear compassion. God is able to help you change the sound of your inner world. That is not too hard for him. So let's invite him in and cooperate with him. Let's just flow into prayer right now. So, Father God, I just thank you, Father, for my sister. I thank you for meeting us here today. Thank you that you care not only about what we do, but also about what is happening in our thoughts, our words, and our hearts. I thank you that you do not shame us for the places where we have spoken from pain, fear, frustration, or disappointment. Help my sister notice the words that she has been saying about herself. Give her the grace to be honest without condemning herself. Show her, Lord, where negative words have been shaping her identity in ways that do not agree with your truth. Teach her how to bring her thoughts captive and how to stop agreeing with those lies. Renew her mind, Father. Steady her heart. Help her to bring her mouth or her words to reflect your truth more and more in Jesus' name. Amen. So, my sister, I just want to thank you for being here with me today for the first episode in this series. I really hope that this encouraged you to slow down and pay attention to what has been coming out of your mouth and what has been shaping your heart. Keep going on this journey with me. I want you to join my newsletter where I share self-love journaling prompts and encouragement, practical tips, and ways to keep doing this hard work with God. You will also be the first to hear about my deeper dive e-courses designed to help you walk through this kind of healing in a more personal and transformational way. This journey is not about rushing, it is about becoming. Remember, every open journal is an invitation for God to move. Until next time, keep rising, keep journaling, and keep becoming who God made you to be.