Welcome back to the Self-Love Journaling with God podcast. I'm your host, Shonda, and I am so grateful you are here with me today. This is part two of our series on shame. Because shame can be loud, but it doesn't get to lead your life. This podcast is not only about journaling, it's about doing the heart work with God as we heal, grow, and learn to love ourselves the way He does. One page and one prayer at a time. And here's one benefit that can truly change you through this series. You're going to learn how to recognize Shame's voice quickly and answer it with God's truth so you start showing up as the woman God has called you to be. So, my sister, have you ever had a moment, just one moment, where you messed up, reacted wrong, chose wrong, stayed too long, said too much, and then your mind took that moment and turned it into a full blown identity. Like it wasn't just I made a mistake, it became I am a mistake. And it's wild because you can be doing better now. You could be growing, praying, trying, healing, and shame still shows up like it has a megaphone and a name tag maker. It starts printing labels unworthy, dirty, too much, embarrassing, failure, unlovable. And my sister, shame doesn't just want you to feel bad, it wants you to live small. So today we're gonna do something different. We're gonna stop letting that shame name you. Shame is a warped mirror. Did you hear that? It's a warped mirror, it magnifies one moment and calls it your whole identity. I hope you are hearing me here. So I want you to take a slow breath in and let it out. And just ask yourself this what name has shame been trying to stick on me lately? Think about that. So let's go to this word together here, because God has a way of telling the truth without tearing you down. So we're gonna be talking about the woman caught in adultery. That's found in John 8, first verse through the 11th verse. Now, there's a moment in scripture that speaks directly to shame, exposure, and labels. Now, in John 8, 1 through 11, those religious leaders they bring a woman to Jesus who was caught in adultery. They drag her into the middle of everyone, like her pain is entertainment, like her life is a lesson, like her worst moment deserves a spotlight. They basically present her like a label. This is that kind of woman. And they ask Jesus, what should we do with her? But Jesus doesn't join their shame parade. I love how Jesus handles this. It's so loving. He bends down and writes on the ground. Then he says, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And one by one they leave. Then Jesus looks at her, he looks at this woman and says, Woman, where are those thine accusers? Have no man condemned thee? She says, No man, Lord. And Jesus says, Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more. Now, do you hear that? Jesus doesn't deny that she needs a new direction, but he refuses to let condemnation define her. Now, a quick personal moment here. I do remember a season where I couldn't stop replaying something I regretted. I would pray, but felt like I needed to earn my way back into God's presence. It wasn't just guilt, it was shame telling me you're the kind of person who always messes things up or messes this up or say the wrong thing. And that voice was exhausting. So, my sister, if you've been there, you are not alone. So let's slow this down and make it plain here. When I say shame is trying to name you, what I mean is this shame doesn't just point to what happened, it doesn't really work that way. Shame tries to decide what it means about you, it takes an action and turns it into an identity. That's what shame does. It takes a chapter and tries to call it the whole book, and it often shows up as those quiet inner statements like that's just who I am. I'm always the one who ruins things. I don't deserve to be happy. If people really knew me, they leave. God is tired of me. Shame is not trying to help you grow. Shame is trying to get you to agree with a lie. But none of us is going to do that anymore, right? And here's a one-liner I want you to keep. Your past may explain you, but it doesn't get to name you. Now let's transition into the emotional side of this because this is not just spiritual, it's deeply human. Let's talk about why shame hits so deep in your mind and body and why it's so hard to shake. So here's the angle that changes everything here. Shame is like a warped mirror. You know those mirrors at the fair, the ones that stretch you, shrink you, twist you, those type of mirrors. And the whole point is to make you laugh. But in real life, shame does the opposite. Shame gives you a distorted reflection of yourself, it kind of zooms in on your worst moment, it magnifies your mess or it blurs out your progress, it edits out your growth, and then it hands you that reflection and says, see, this is you. Shame is like a warped mirror. And so the reason this hits so deep is because we make decisions based on what we think is true about us. So if shame convinces you that you're too much, you will start shrinking. If it convinces you that you're unlovable, you will accept crumbs. If it convinces you that you are dirty, you'll hide from God. If it convinces you that you are a failure, you will stop trying. And the replay loop. Did you hear what I just said here? The replay loop is like you standing in front of that warped mirror, hoping if you stare long enough, it will finally change the reflection, but it won't because the mirror is the problem. Let me give you a few quick one-liners here that I want you to kind of grab hold to. Stop taking identity advice from a distorted reflection. Shame zooms in, God restores the full picture. Did you hear that? If the mirror is lying, don't stare harder. Change what you're looking into. That's why shame doesn't get healed by overthinking. We often overthink, we keep thinking about it, and nothing ever changes. It gets healed by truth. Truth you can return to again and again. God's word is not a warped mirror, it's a true one. So now let's shift into what God says about you when shame is trying to rename you. God is not the author of shame. So if you feel in shame, you know that's not coming from God. God does convict, yes, God corrects, yes, God calls us higher, but he does not condemn and he does not crush. Because condemnation doesn't produce change, it produces hiding. Look at Jesus in John 8. He protected that woman from the stones. He refused the label. He didn't excuse the sin, but he also didn't shame her soul. And when shame is naming you, it will always speak in hopeless absolutes. Meaning it'll say something like this: You'll never change. Never is the absolute. Always is the absolute. You ruined everything. Everything is the absolute. But God doesn't speak that way. God speaks in redemption, He speaks in process, He speaks in restoration, in growth, He speaks in identity. And that's why this really kind of matters so much in your self-love and your faith journey walk. Because shame doesn't just make you feel bad, shame makes you self-abandon. It tries to dictate your next move. It makes you treat yourself like someone who isn't worth care. You stop resting because you feel like you have to earn peace. You may stop setting boundaries because you feel undeserving. You might even stop speaking kindly to yourself because you feel disqualified from any kindness. And then you end up trying to heal while punishing yourself. That's not healing, that's a slow bleed. God wants us free, not just forgiven, but free. So less anchor to a verse you can keep in your pocket like a key. So here in let's check out Romans 8, verse 1, and it says, There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit. If you are in Christ, condemnation is not your portion. So don't embrace it. That means shame doesn't get the final word. It doesn't get to name you. And now means right now, not after you prove yourself, not after you clean up perfectly, not after you feel worthy. Now, now therefore, now no condemnation. So let's talk about how to live this out in this life today, this week, in your actual routine. Because shame loves vague, but healing loves specific. So here's how you apply Romans 8:1 when shame tries to creep up and starts to name you. Number one, notice the mirror moment. When you feel that drop in your chest, pause and ask yourself, what did I just see about myself? Because shame usually starts with a mirror moment. You forgot something, you snapped at someone, you saw an old photo, you remembered an old relationship, you compare yourself to another woman. Shame usually starts with a mirror moment. And suddenly your mind holds up a mirror and goes, Look at you. So I want you to pause right there and ask yourself, what did I just see about myself? The next thing you want to do, name the distortion. Don't become it, but name it. Here we get in specific. So I want you to say, say it plainly. This is shame trying to distort my identity. You're not saying your actions don't matter, you're saying shame is twisting the meaning. Because again, condemnation edits your story down to one mistake, but grace reads the whole book. So remember, name that distortion, don't become it. Step number three here, swap mirrors. This is where we swap mirrors. We're gonna speak Romans 8:1. So here's how I want you to do that mirror swap out loud if you can, like you're talking back to a bully. Sometimes we gotta say this out loud if we can. Romans 8.1 says there is no condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. So that's what I want you to say to yourself, and then I want you to add a truth name to it. I know I like to use I am the righteousness of God in Christ, but you can say, I am forgiven, I am being renewed, I am still growing, I am loved, I am not disqualified. So that's your truth. We want to swap those mirrors in that moment. Here's an example of that. Let's say shame says you're a bad mom because you lost your patience. And you can say this. Okay, losing my patience is something I can repair. But shame doesn't get to name me. Romans 8:1 says, There is no condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. I can apologize, reset, and try again. Now that's maturity, that's growth, that's healing right there. And number four, take one small repair step. Now shame says hide, but grace says repair. One small step might be that you apologize, or that you send a kind text, or take a breath and restart the day. Maybe you ask God for wisdom. One small repair step. Maybe you journal instead of spiraling or reach out for some support. Nothing is wrong with that. Because grace says repair, shame says hide it. Because healing isn't a grand speech, it's a series of small, steady choices that we make every day. So we can choose to hide or we can choose to repair. One of the best ways to practice this mirror swap with God is through journaling. Because journaling helps you slow down long enough to see what's true. So let's move this into our journaling practice together here, where we go step by step. So I want you to grab your journal and let's just kind of relax our shoulders, take a deep breath in and out. And the first thing is, first and foremost, that we always want to do is invite God in. So at the top of your page, if you're able to write, I want you to write, God, help me see myself clearly. And you might have to take a pause with a statement like that. And just allow God, give him some space to speak to your heart in that moment. And then next, I want you to write down this prompt. Where has shame distorted my reflection in what does God's truth say instead? Where has that been? And write these two lines next to it: shame's distorted name and God's truth name. And so here's an example. Shame's distorted name might be I'm behind. I feel like I'm not moving. But God's truth might be I'm becoming, and God is guiding me. I'm I'm patient. Or you might say, hey, I'm too much. That's the distorted name. But God's truth says, I am worthy of love that is safe and steady. So it's all about what name are you going to choose to walk in? And then the next thing, anchor it in scripture. Now we go back to Romans 8.1 and put write that out in your journal. And underneath that scripture, Romans 8.1, which says, There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ. If you are in Christ Jesus, there's no condemnation. And it says, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit. So under that, I want you to write, because there is no condemnation for me in Christ, today I will. What will you do? You accomplish what God has for you. So, my sister, you do not have to be perfect to be progressing. You don't have to be flawless to be faithful. So I want you to take this one-liner with you. Healing starts when you stop agreeing with the distortion. And you know who you agree with? You agree with God. So if you're not agreeing with the distortion, you agree with God. But if you if you're not agreeing with God, who are you agreeing with? So remember, healing starts when you stop agreeing with the distortion. So here's an action step I want you to consider taking on for this week. We just talked about the mirror swap. So I want you to think about doing the mirror swap practice. This is something that maybe takes about 60 seconds. And so once a day, I want you to do this. Identify one shame label. Say Romans 8:1 out loud and replace that label with that one truth name. So it might sound like this: shame says I'm a failure. But you say, Father, there is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. And then me, I grab hold to that truth and I say, I am learning and growing. I can take one next step today. That's it. One minute to do that. Remember, small practice, big shift. So, my sister, I am so proud of you for showing up today because this work takes courage. You're not just listening, you're rebuilding. Every time you choose truth over shame, you are choosing freedom over hiding. Let this be a reminder that shame is a warped mirror, is distorted. But God's word, God's word is the true reflection. Sometimes when we talk about meditating on the word, this is why you would want to meditate on that word and go over it and. And get it in you because sometimes we're looking at that warped mirror and we need some time in the word to be able to embrace God's truth. Another thing to be a reminder to you is that you don't have to live under a name God never gave you. You are not condemned, you are not disqualified, you are not too far gone, you are loved, you are held by the Most High. You are becoming the woman God called you to be. And before we close, I just want to take this time to pray that truth over you. So, Father God, I just pray over my sister right now. You see the places where shame has tried to distort her reflection, where one mistake, one season, or one painful chapter has tried to become her name. I ask you to break the power of condemnation off her heart. When shame speaks, teach her to recognize the lie and turn toward your truth. Remind her, Lord, that your word says there is now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. So fill her with peace, cover her with mercy, and strengthen her with the quiet confidence that you are not done with her. In Jesus' name, amen. And so before you hop off, if you are in a healing season, working on self-love or learning how to journal with God, I want you to go ahead and follow this podcast so you do not have to hunt for it every week. It can come right to you. And if you want a little weekly boost, definitely join my self-love newsletter. It is really like a warm note from me to you. And if what you are craving is community, I have something there for you as well. Women who get it and who are doing this hard work in real life. Come hang out with us in the Self-Love Journaling with God Circle on School.com. Check the show notes to stay connected. All the links are waiting for you right there. So I just want to thank you for spending this time with me. It was such a blessed moment. I get blessed as well. Remember, every open journal is an invitation for God to move. Until next time, keep rising, keep journaling, and keep becoming who God made you to be.